Sunday, September 13, 2009

Once you start, you can't stop

Crying that is. At least for me. I'm starting to dislike Sundays a little bit now-a-days. I have always loved going to church and taking Sunday naps and eating big Sunday afternoon dinners, but lately, that just hasn't been the case. I still love church, but we seem to miss out on the naps and dinner a lot just so we have a few more waking moments together before Trevor has to leave.
It seems like all day Sunday I try to hold back the tears I know are eventually going to come at the end of the day. Some of them are tears of joy, but mostly tears of sadness. It makes me so happy to see Trevor holding Kaydance and just loving her like he does. That's when I have some of those tears of joy. And then when it finally comes time for him to leave, it's like I can't help myself. I can't hold it back any longer and I just weep. I hate having a tear streaked face and a snotty nose as the last thing Trevor sees as he's walking out the door, but I can't bring myself to be happy in that moment and smile. I'm not glad that he's leaving; I'm not glad to be starting another week alone. I always feel overwhelmed thinking about everything I have to do that week. I feel stressed out before the days even start. School is the biggest thing because I never want to study when I get home from school. And although I don't want to, when I do, I usually just fall asleep reading or end up taking care of a crying baby who I never get to see all day. And then on the weekends I don't do any studying because I want to spend every minute with Trevor and Kaydance. Then there's more stress about the fact that I have to take care of the house and Kaydance, oh yeah, and myself. Sometimes I forget that last part. Between school and homework, housework and Kaydance, I just forget to take care of me. Luckily I have awesome family, friends and visiting teachers who bring me dinner and always ask how I'm doing. I couldn't do it without them.
I know this post is kind of random, but I had to get my feelings out. I'm not asking for sympathy, (although it might be appreciated), I just need to vent.

On a lighter note, here are a few more pictures of the little one:

Friday, September 11, 2009

Labor Day Fun

For Labor Day we decided to hike to Timpanogas Cave with my sister Natalie and her boyfriend Zeniff. We knew you could buy tickets in advance, but we didn't. By the time we got up there, all the tours of the cave were sold out, so we didn't go. Instead, we got a map of a few other hikes around the same area on the Alpine Loop and decided on Cascade Springs. There were so many people up there, a lot of them being idiots who got their camper trailers stuck and others who practically parked in the middle of the road. It was taking us so long to get there, I decided to make Kaydance a bottle and just have Natalie feed her in the back seat. Trevor finally made it through all the crowds and was now cruising on the winding road and had asked if anyone was getting car sick. Not even one minute after he asked, Kaydance proceeded to throw up all 4 ounces of her formula all over herself and her carseat. We ended up having to pull over and use the trunk as a make-shift changing table.

She was pretty happy after that.

We finally made it to Cascade springs and hiked around a little bit. It was a fun little hike, and Kaydance especially enjoyed it.

After we were done walking around we decided to head over to Midway, since it wasn't too far from where we were. We drove over the mountain to Midway and through Heber and then over to Park City. We went to lunch there and then decided to check out the Olympic Park. Trevor and I actually decided to do the zipline there, seeing as how last time I was 8 months pregnant. It is the steepest zipline in the world and you go up to 50 miles and hour. It was really fun.

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Apparently I haven't been putting enough pictures and such of Kaydance on here. So, here a few of my favorites and a few videos.

This is a real smile. She was about 2 weeks old when I took this. Unfortunately the flash went off and made her close her eyes, but I just love that gummy smile.

First time at church.

This video is just of her sleeping, not really super exciting, but she's just so cute!

Here's one of her when she's just waking up, see how close she is to rolling over already?!?!

These next two are the things that we do when Trevor is here on the weekends: