Our latest "growth" and development

I have been a little hesitant to write about this. However, after some persuasion from Trevor and hopefully your support, we will fill you in. We have lived in Starcrest Apartments for about a year and a half now and things have been going considerably well, despite the problems that we have heard about from others and some that we have experienced ourselves. Let me first say that we are clean people, who take care of our things, who have pride in our living conditions, and who want to remain free from disease and affliction. Having said that, I will now inform you about our latest adventure here in Starcrest, or as referred to by some, Crapcrest.
The other day Trevor and I were cleaning up our back room after a visit from my mom. When Trevor had set up the air mattress for her to sleep on, he noticed that the floor was wet. (We never really go in our spare bedroom, but use it mostly for storage and such.) After my mom had stayed and we were tidying up, we noticed some mold along the base board. After following it's trail to the edge of the wall, behind a shelf we had bought a while back, which had every possible inch of space occupied, we noticed a big black spot on the wall. After pulling out some of the boxes, and eventually the entire shelf away from the wall, we discovered nasty, black and orange, smelly, fuzzy, mold growing half way up the wall. I say growing and not grown because I think it was still spreading right in front of our eyes. The thing is alive and probably has molds which are yet to be discovered by man! Steve, maybe you can come study it for us...you could be famous.
We were pretty appalled. But the discovery made us curious and we investigated further. We decided to check in the closet where earlier that summer we had some problems with wet carpet. We moved our luggage and felt the floor...dry. There was no trace of mold along the base board. On a hunch I grabbed all of my old army uniforms hanging in the closet and threw them to the other side. That's when we found the spawn of the demon growing in the corner. And it had a twin in the closet in our bedroom! We had never noticed it because of the insane amount of clothes we have in our closets. The mold even spread onto some of the clothes which had to be burned. Okay, we didn't burn the clothes but we did throw them away.

At this point, we call the EMERGENCY line only to get an answering machine... some emergency line. That was almost a week ago, and we still haven't had anyone come look at it or anything. This mold is seriously out of control, and I know that it's not going to get fixed. Needless to say, we are not bringing a newborn into this place.
We immediately started looking for a new place, and we have decided on this.....



Almost twice as big as our current apartment, another bathroom, a brand new kitchen, and a fireplace in the living room. We are so excited, but unfortunately, we will not be in the 7th ward anymore. To you seventh warders, know that we love you dearly and did not want to move out of the ward. In fact your friendship means so much to us that we would gladly make the trek from 800 North to attend a BBQ or play big booty on the lawn until dark thirty. So please don't forget about us just because we are going to be across town. Unless we are "out of the club" or you think less of us for moving on without you, then we might understand. It is not you it is the vomitous mass in our spare bedroom. We didn't want our baby eaten alive. Wish us luck in our endeavors, and you might get an invite to a house warming party or somethin'.